Skip To Content

"I Tried To Shut Up Once And I Almost Died" — Here Are 46 Tweets From This Week That Made Me Laugh A Bit

"This is a silly goose check-in. Serious geese keep scrolling."

As we finally enter the "Saturday and Sunday" of 2022 and hibernate in our end-of-the-year fatigue cocoons, let's have a laugh as well (before there's no Twitter anymore)! Here are 46 tweets that'll make you giggle, smirk, and say "huh, well okay":

1.

a lot of u have never actually been rockin around the christmas tree. u walk by it, but ur never rockin

Twitter: @CaucasianJames

2.

When provoked or threatened, red pandas will stand on their hind legs to appear larger.

Twitter: @fasc1nate

3.

I wish I had a best friend who lived in my building like one of the sitcoms from the 90s.

Twitter: @MelReneeStyles

4.

i’ve been forced to watch some football recently and i really think they should consider editing the matches to have confessionals from the players like in reality tv shows. would be way more interesting

Twitter: @sharloola

5.

He had to confirm all the fine print of the contract before he said the cuss word 😆

Twitter: @notcapnamerica

6.

family time aka pretending i’m tired at 9pm so i can spend quiet time in my enclosure

Twitter: @SaraQDavid

7.

A man said he couldn’t breathe when sleeping so he installed a camera to see why

Twitter: @_B___S

8.

it’s harder than u think to communicate w someone who isn’t familiar w the world of spongebob

Twitter: @littleesther

9.

The Philippines has some of the best drag performers in the world @theonlymanza

Twitter: @PanginaHeals

10.

Twitter: @weirdlilguys

11.

Twitter: @kurtisconner

12.

Seeing the new Avatar in 4D and the theater employee asked if I could swim

Twitter: @pjayevans

13.

Twitter: @whotfisjovana

14.

i tried to shut up once and i almost died https://t.co/mMZ3BE2sa8

Twitter: @robinsfleur

15.

Twitter: @luvinflix

16.

Twitter: @NoContextBrits

17.

Twitter: @abbottnocontext

18.

the cullens every few years so people don't notice the fact that they don't age:

Twitter: @twilightreborn

19.

Twitter: @fiImgal

20.

Twitter: @weirdlilguys

21.

Pauline Chalamet could do Bones and All but Timothee Chalamet couldn’t do this

Twitter: @thenervousgeek

22.

just nailed something to my wall with a platform heel i am unstoppable

Twitter: @chrissychlapp

23.

Twitter: @loongarten

24.

this is a silly goose check in. serious geese keep scrolling

Twitter: @whotfisjovana

25.

they should invent a sleeping position that’s actually comfortable just so we have the option

Twitter: @chunkbardey

26.

the fact that this was the netflix description for gossip girl

Twitter: @lohanisgod

27.

I’m never going in the ocean again.

Twitter: @overtime

28.

how I'd sleep if someone else paid my rent and fed me

Twitter: @weirdlilguys

29.

asking me what i’m gonna do with my degree is assault

Twitter: @tyler02020202

30.

love friends who are down for low maintenance activities like sitting in my room and screaming

Twitter: @GROOVYCHl

31.

I love Twitter, I hope it never dies

Twitter: @clhubes

32.

sometimes you have to freak out in the middle of the day for 4 hours

Twitter: @tyler02020202

33.

I'm going to romanticize every day of 2023. I am going to be my most supreme delusional self.

Twitter: @nadine_butyoda

34.

Twitter: @NoContextBrits

35.

Getting actually mad at my friend who threw a banana at me in Mario Kart

Twitter: @pjayevans

36.

Twitter: @MrJonCryer

37.

this is a real menorah currently being sold at Target……….I am WHEEZING

Twitter: @juliareinstein

38.

i hate when parents try combine their names to make a baby name. why is your child's named bobiana...

Twitter: @itszaeok

39.

A map of railway lines in the USA vs Europe.

Twitter: @CountDankulaTV

40.

im just a teenage girl in my 20s

Twitter: @ULTRAGLOSS

41.

instead of texting “on my way” im a just send this

Twitter: @97Vercetti

42.

No one questioning why a regular civilian has a flame-throwing drone? https://t.co/QSZYdZX6OK

Twitter: @ramseyboltin

43.

The best thing I've learned about gentle parenting a toddler is you can also apply it to adults if you work in customer service.

Twitter: @clhubes

44.

I’d join I’m sorry https://t.co/oz5G6wzOg0

Twitter: @keyon

45.

The correct spelling is SCHOOL not SCHOOL. Some of y’all be putting the second O before the first O which is very incorrect.

Twitter: @FinesseEness

46.

staring at this picture upset me on such a fundamental level that i have decided you must all be upset by it too

Twitter: @Charalanahzard

I don't know what I'm looking at, can you make out anything in that pic? Let us know in the comments! And be sure to follow BuzzFeed Canada on Tiktok and Instagram!