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A Woman Asked If Her Husband Was Wrong For Requesting A Separate Invitation To Her Parents' Christmas Party, And Spoiler Alert: People REALLY Think He Is

"There is no etiquette book on earth that recommends sending married couples two separate invitations."

I firmly believe that the BEST thing the internet has ever given us is p̶o̶r̶n̶ ̶ the Am I the Asshole? (AITA) subreddit. Case in point: a recent AITA post about Christmas party invitations and a difficult husband with over 6,000 commenters calling the husband an asshole.

People standing next to each other but avoiding each other

Basically, u/Lukeproblem135 asked "AITA for telling my parents I won't attend their Christmas celebration until they send my husband a separate invitation?"

Someone writing invitations

"I recently got an invitation for a Christmas celebration from my parents. The invitation included my husband and me, but Luke thought it was rude and disrespectful. He believes he should get his own invitation and not have his name mentioned as an 'extension' of mine. He said he won't go unless they send him a 'proper' invitation."

A man screaming with hands over his ears

"My mom thought it was ridiculous and said that she did the same with my sister and her husband. I told her it was fine, but Luke can be sensitive, so a simple text invitation sent directly to him will fix it. She got defensive and said that Luke is being ridiculous. Dad claimed that Luke is trying to pull some power move to humiliate them, but I thought it was a small issue."

woman talking to her mother

"I told them I won't attend if they don't send him a separate invitation, because he won't attend if he doesn't get it. Then, my sister started arguing, saying Luke needs to get over himself. She shamed me for trying to 'force' our parents to send him an invitation by saying I won't come if they don't. We haven't talked since then."

Two women in Santa hats avoiding talking to each other

The next day, OP shared an update: "I just got off the phone with my sister. She told me our parents have just disinvited me (Luke was probably already disinvited since the argument occurred)."

Santa giving the thumbs down

Now, there may be three sides to this story — OP/Luke's side, the parents' side, and the truth — but it's pretty clear to the commenters that Luke is a raging asshole.

One person with the username u/Straight-Singer-2912 broke down in explicit detail alllll the reasons why Luke is in the wrong.

"Luke is TA, and YTA for condoning it. When you're married, you don't get separate invitations. Your mom said, 'I hope you guys can come for Christmas' or 'We're looking forward to seeing you at Christmas' — that is the Royal You, not just you, OP.

Question: If a friend issued the same invitation that your mom did, would Luke be kicking up a fuss, or would he just go?

This isn't about the invitation; Luke just doesn't want to go. Your choice is to stay with him or go without him, but your parents don't have to issue Lukie Wubbie his own special private invitation. And think hard: Is this really the only time he kicks up a fuss, or do you tiptoe around a lot of things? Be honest."

Another redditor who goes by u/thewhiterosequeen pointed out that invitations have never worked like that.

"Holy crap, that's not how invitations work. Couples always get invited together. He wouldn't be invited if he wasn't your husband. Why didn't you shut that shit down immediately? Your husband is a bigger asshole, but you enable him.

'You can't tell who's right or who's wrong...'

...I kinda feel like I can."

User u/mm172 hypothesized that Luke would also be insulted if OP and Luke had received separate invitations.

"There is no etiquette book on earth that recommends sending married couples two separate invitations. In fact, I guarantee if they had done it his way for some reason, he’d be spinning that as an unforgivable insult and still demanding you stay home, because that’s really the point here. Put your foot down that this is his problem. The red flags are strong with this one."

And finally, a commenter who goes by u/ryoryo72 asked a valid and thought-provoking question that I really hope OP considers.

"Seems like your husband is getting what he really wanted, which is for neither of you to attend your parents' Christmas celebration. Has your husband always been trying to isolate you from your family?"

What do you think? Let me know in the comments! 👇

Some replies have been edited for length and clarity.